this is the manifest

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 20:27:13 GMT

hello livejournal, it's been a while. paper journal is getting neglected too.

life is still good and really really hard.

hello, paul mitchell school.

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 01:55:34 GMT

i've started writing in my paper journal more. it feels good to record how i'm feeling, you know, irl.

i get married in three months and a day. holy cow. that's crazy. i'm so happy.

doug came over the other night to bring some of my stuff back, but mostly to say goodbye. he gave me the saddest hug with tears running down his face. "i love you" he said simply, and then kissed me on the forehead. "be happy". and then he walked out. it made me so sad. not like i-made-the-wrong-decision sad, but just sorry-i-had-to-be-the-one-to-teach-you-that-people-leave sad. we weren't good together but he's very nice and he's going to make someone very happy someday. and i'm happy with what i have. unquestionably.

i can't stop listening to manchester orchestra's "colly strings".

i move in six days. soon i'll have a home for good. in another person. that's a good feeling.

i'm doing so good right now in life. so's my brother. i hope the next few years bring only good things for all of us.

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 21:37:27 GMT

I HATE WEDDING PLANNING ALREADY.

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 17:13:17 GMT

it looks twice as stunning in all white.

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 14:30:07 GMT

i got to go camping this weekend with a bunch of dudes and i totally loved it. it made me feel ten, because what does every girl want to do when she's ten? run around in the woods all day. it was super fun.

still waiting for the ring. i'm starting to look around every bush, though.

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 14:48:40 GMT

i never thought i'd say it, but i'd rather be back in idaho. the next five months are going to be long and hard.

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 20:22:59 GMT

so i think mike and i are getting married in january. the 'i think' only refers to january.

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 15:47:29 GMT

i....move....TOMORROW!!!

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Sun, 08 Apr 2007 08:07:34 GMT

i think i am doing better, overall....but tonight i'm sad.

i am having really drastic backslides.

get a grip, erin!

this move will be so good for me. at least, that's what i keep telling myself.

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Tue, 03 Apr 2007 19:10:26 GMT

i put in my two weeks notice. i'm moving. too many ghosts around here.

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 21:35:02 GMT

wow. he and i are compatible in so many new ways.

plus he took the most gorgeous photo of the salt lake temple i've ever seen. kylie, you'd love him.

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 04:11:48 GMT

i never, ever want to forget the last...oh...51 and a half hours.

life is so good.

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 04:46:29 GMT

someone broke into my car.

my satellite radio. my passport. my purse. my new drivers license. 4 credit cards. my checkbook. my social security number. all gone.

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 19:22:21 GMT

all my time is spent driving, working, at the gym, or on a snowboard. i have consumed ungodly amounts of red vine licorice in the last month. yumm.

i wanna make out with more swoopy haired boys. or more men with beards. both would be nice, thanks.

this next month: the ataris, linbeck, hot rod circuit, tattoo appointments, sharing time, birthdays, mediated visits with father, etc etc. i am excited.

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Sun, 18 Feb 2007 06:08:06 GMT

bridge to terabithia made me cry my freaking face off

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 06:18:12 GMT

so. after spending copious amounts of time with morgan over the past week, most of it spent snowboarding (ie, him helping me wobble down the hill), he shows up at my house tonight to drop off a birthday card. for reference, inside was a small band-sized pin that said "maxwell murder" and the card read "you know what number to call if you ever need anything. happy birthday etc. morgan". i hope someone reading this listens to rancid so they get the reference.
anyways, while standing on my porch recieving said card, i said something about hanging out this week. he turned bright red and slowly mumbled out how he couldn't....he was going to provo the entire weekend to visit the girl he's dating. shocker. awesome. i played it off and he slunk off with his tail between his legs.

so...a few hours later, he calls. "what are you doing for your birthday tomorrow night?" nothing, i tell him, we did the celebrations tonight because i work tomorrow and people are sort of scattered. "come up and snowboard with me". wtf? um? did i hear that right? he launched into a speech starting with "well....what i wrote in that card...i'm serious. i don't do much and you can call me anytime to hang out." i had a temporary sanity lapse and agreed to go up for a few hours with him. driving separately, thank you v much. so then, here i am thinking, of course ! he's in love with me and can't live without my company (or something of the sorts). i tried to remember manners and thanked him for inviting me, and for using one of his voucher passes to pay for my ticket tomorrow. the reply? "oh sure. i just thought it would suck for you to be alone on your birthday." hold the phone. what did he just say to me? that i got a pity invitation from someone who's in-a-relationship-thank-you-very-much because he knew i'd be alone on my birthday? firstly, what's going on dude?! secondly, who cares if i was gonna be alone on my birthday?! certainly not me! honestly, i really do have a lot of people who wanted to hang out (okay, not a lot, but certainly not none) and i didn't mind having a night to unwind. i've had the last five days off and i've been going nonstop, including driving down to salt lake and spending some time with my dad's family for the bday stuff. it just really upset me that i got extended the courtesy invitation. i'm thinking i'll call and cancel. or have a freak out while he's on the lift and can't go anywhere.

well. great way to usher in the next solar cycles of my life. all i get for 21 is a new drivers license. and apparantly more effed-up people who want to quasi-date. thanks, kismet. happy birthday to me.

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 01:05:43 GMT

i didn't think he could hurt me that bad.

i was wrong. hm. that's too bad.

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Sun, 04 Feb 2007 03:46:01 GMT

i just spent time in a room with mike, morgan, and ben. all at once. i'm going to go cry my face off.

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Sat, 03 Feb 2007 21:41:28 GMT

all i do is listen to john waite and try to think of mean things to say in retaliation. unfortunately most of the mean things are true.

he got everything he ever wanted. everything he ever planned on getting. i shouldn't still be surprised.

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 23:27:25 GMT

wow that sucked.

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 18:26:50 GMT

i have my first appointment tomorrow to get my tattoos taken off.

eep!

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 01:25:30 GMT

on top of my fabulous life as of late, the toe i broke/mangled while backpacking in europe has decided to give me a lot of grief lately. awesome!

maybe i'll get lucky and it'll start predicting storms like arthritic body parts. or maybe it'll break off and i can use it like a divining rod. for when i'm in the desert.

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Mon, 22 Jan 2007 01:33:59 GMT

ugh. i'm hurting a lot lately.

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 08:14:12 GMT

we broke up

xthricex333@hotmail.com — Fri, 05 Jan 2007 21:25:27 GMT

several goals for 2007:

get through my awesome tuesday - saturday schedule of waking up at 7, working out, standing all day working on womens hair color and trying not to get yelled at, leaving school to go straight to taco bell and standing another 8 hours, eat sleep breathe repeat.

leave the country again (this will be tough due to the above schedule, but i am going to try. even if it's for a week)

read 200 books. this is a lot. but i'm fairly confident.

try to save up at least $2000 (in case i don't actually leave the country - this way i can do it when i'm done with school).

work harder on my foreign languages.

uh-oh. in writing this i was also looking at flights to tokyo....they're only $700 right now...happy birthday to me!